Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear scarves.
When you meet Nelson, one of the first things you notice is his warmth.
He greets people like old friends. He finds joy in helping others. He talks about gratitude, purpose and kindness with a sincerity that makes you stop and listen.
But behind that smile is a journey most people never see.
Before cancer, Nelson spent years caring for others.
He was the primary carer for his parents, supporting his mother through illness and caring for his father, who was living with dementia. Even when his own health began to decline, his focus remained on the people he loved.
“I was always worried about my mum’s wellbeing. All I could think was: When I go, who’s going to look after them?”
Then came the diagnosis.
Stage 4 tongue cancer.
Almost overnight, the carer became the patient.
Suddenly there were scans, specialists, treatment plans and conversations no one ever wants to hear.
“You’ll probably lose your tongue. You might not be able to swallow.”
The road ahead felt frightening and uncertain.
What followed was months of treatment that pushed Nelson to his limits.
He lost a significant amount of weight. Eating became difficult. Speaking became difficult. There were days when getting through the next hour felt impossible.
At one point, he was admitted to Fiona Stanley Hospital weighing just 48 kilograms.
“There were days I didn’t want to do it anymore.”
Yet somehow, he kept going.
He held onto the people who believed in him.
A close friend drove him to treatment every day.
Hospital staff offered care and compassion when he needed it most.
And through the darkest moments, he found reasons to keep fighting.
“I’d think about my mum.”
Today, Nelson still lives with the consequences of treatment. Like many head and neck cancer patients, recovery did not end when treatment finished.
“The journey hasn’t ended. It’s only begun.”
Yet what stands out most about Nelson is not what happened to him.
It is how he chose to respond.
Every morning, before sunrise, he walks. He watches the birds. He watches the sun come up. He gives thanks for another day.
“My walking has been my saviour.”
He cooks meals for friends and people doing it tough. He helps others. He finds purpose in giving.
And perhaps most importantly, he shares hope.
Looking back, Nelson says there is one thing he wishes he had when he was first diagnosed.
Someone who had already walked the road ahead. Someone who could explain what to expect. Someone who could tell him that even when things got ugly, there was still life, joy and purpose on the other side.
Today, he hopes to be that person for someone else.
“I hope I get to be an inspiration to others and a voice to others to say, you’ve got this.”
Because behind every scarf is a story.
Behind every scarf is a person.
And behind every scarf is a hero still finding the strength to move forward, one step at a time.
Join us on 30 July at Fiona Stanley Hospital for Behind the Scarf Day.
Show your support for patients like Nelson, and help us raise vital funds by:
- Wearing a scarf
- Visiting the Behind the Scarf stall in the Fiona Stanley Hospital Concourse
- Donating to Behind the Scarf through Pulse: South Metro Health Foundation
- Sharing the message and helping raise awareness
Every donation helps support programs and initiatives that assist patients to regain confidence, reconnect with everyday life and live well after treatment.
Together, we can celebrate the strength of patients, the dedication of clinicians and the difference that compassionate care and community support can make.
Let’s show our support to Nelson and all the other patients that live with or beyond head and neck cancer!
